do so many trans sites and trans people seem so concerned with
“passing?” I don't get it and yet I fall prey to it as well.
Sometimes the overarching concern is to be attributed as cis but
sometimes the effort seems to be in deliberately being either
misgendered or confusing. I know the second part if a choice (though
in my gender classes I have felt pressure to 'show' my gender
fluidity, which is ridiculous) but it's the first one, the pressure
to be attributed as cisgender that really gets me.
understand wanting to appear cis for safety reasons. There is a huge
privilege you gain by being perceived as a part of the typical cis
binary. This helps smooth the way in so many ways that cis people
likely don't realize. Just not having the thread of being harmed,
verbally or physically, by appearing cis (or at least lessening that
threat) is likely worth it for many trans and non-binary people.
There isn't anything wrong with choosing to accept a certain level of
misgendering and dysphoria for safety reasons. That being said, it is
an individuals choice to make and one which shouldn't be a decision
which others try to influence.
the pressure to 'pass' is something that a lot of people, trans and
cis both, put on trans people who aren't passing or who don't 'fir' a
mold for their identity. For example, currently the 'in' thing for
gender queer people is a kind of hardcore androgyny. Those who don't
fit that are questioned to see if they are “real” gender queers
or if they are faking it. Unfuck that, a person's gender expression
doesn't necessarily equate to their gender identity for one and for
two holy no true Scotsman fallacy badman. They aren't “real”
gender queers if they don't “fit” a preset idea of what a gender
queer person “should” be. That's bullshit flat out. The range of
“acceptable” presentation for cis males and especially cis
females is massive. Why do those who aren't cis and who aren't binary
have such a narrow range of acceptance?
look at the difference between a cis female and a trans female. The
cis person can range in gender expression from a super femininity to
the most hardcore butch and they are still accepted as female. Their
femininity, may be questioned, their orientation may be questioned,
but almost never their gender. Now for the trans person, unless their
gender expression is what is typically considered feminine or they
pass well and no one knows their trans history their gender is
regularly questioned and is often rejected, even
by other trans people.
Hell, likely especially
by other trans people. I have heard more trans people accuse those of
us who aren't trying to pass of “making trans people look bad.”
No we aren't, those who insist on being in a box of trans expressions
with no deviations are.
behavior is ridiculous, those who are trans have every gender
expression represented just as cis people do but this policing of
what is a “true” trans or gender queer or neutrois expression is
just horizontal oppression and merely perpetuates the idea that if
you don't “fit” you are other.
a whole trans* people are already showing that cis ideals aren't
working, non-binary people are showing that binarist ideals aren't
working. Rather than accepting that peoples expression needs to “fit”
to their gender identity we need to allow for people to express
themselves and their gender how they feel is right for
not for some ideal of gender. The cis privilege of gender expression
needs to be taken up by trans* people. No matter your gender identity
cis male or trans gender queer you should not be condemned for your
choice of expression of that gender. We need to move away form this
oppressive dialogue of passing and allow people to freely express who